Call Me Maybe Final

Random Acts of Kindness

Whether you call it a Random Act of Kindness, Paying it Forward, Circle of Kindness or a Kindness Boomerang, it makes no difference. The terminology is one and the same for expressing a good deed often done anonymously or with little fan fare. It usually takes place between strangers.  One person sees another and wants to do something kind.

There's homespun kindness too and today was an exceptionally good day for that as I found myself on the receiving end of two completely unsolicited and unexpected gifts of kindness but not from strangers.  I happened to be home this afternoon when I heard a knock at my door. I opened it to find one of my neighbours with a gift of half a dozen cookies his wife had just baked.

The second surprise was opening my mailbox later in the afternoon and finding a wrapped gift from a friend I haven't seen in months!  The card reads "This book reminded me of you. It is about being happy and about diversity! Both of those things make me think of YOU"  and "I think you're wonderful".

Instantly, the cover of  "HAPPY", which is published by Lonely Planet had me excited and its secondary title "Secrets to Happiness from the Cultures of the World"   had  me intrigued. As I quickly flipped through the pages I saw awesome photos and headings like "Live in the Now" and "Allow yourself to luxuriate".

You can bet I was grinning ear to ear that someone could be so sweet as to send me such a fun and thoughtful gift. After a cup of tea and a gift cookie, I started to read the foreword of gift book:

  "There is a famous story about two children who set out to find a bluebird; they travel all over the world only to find it in their own backyard when they return home.  The bluebird, of course, represents happiness and the moral of the story is that happiness is found when you stop looking for it..."

I'm gobsmacked. I quickly recalled my day thus far.  Just this morning I met a  neighbour --not the cookie gifter but a different one --for a walk, and as she and I strolled and chatted, a Steller's Jay chastised us as it flew past and perched in a  nearby tree. Michele commented on how she loved his blue colouring and I agreed.  It's the only kind of "blue bird" we have in this area.  Anyway, Michele is not only my neighbour but has become a dear friend over the years and because yesterday was her 50th birthday I had asked her to come in for tea and sweets after our walk and as we sat together I presented her with the gift bag and the card that I had written on last night. I had selected her favorite colour of blue for the contents of the bag and the card had a bluebird on the cover with my words inside: "May the bluebird of happiness sing for you every day of your 50th year".

Cue the music from "Twighlight Zone" folks, this was an extraordinary day

Nobody Knows The Truffles I've Seen

Longevity beckons to boomers!  We're looking for something to keep our minds alert and our bodies strong.  My eyes have been drawn to chocolate and cookbooks and yes, in that order.

John Robbins is a best selling author of a number of books including Healthy at 100, and he wrote the foreword in a friend of a friend's cookbook "Health By Chocolate".  He speaks of the wonderful mood-enhancing phytochemicals in chocolate that benefit both body and mind.

As I grab for a piece of 70% fair trade dark chocolate, I remember that little gem.  "Mmmm chocolate, this is going to make me happy today."  My voice sounds oddly like Homer Simpson, when he says "doughnuts"!

The fantasizing begins as I flip through "Health By Chocolate" by Victoria Laine.  Wonderful pictures of chocolate creations (ALL GOOD FOR ME!) and recipes which the author promotes as  "health benefits with guilt-free pleasure". The "Double Double" Chocolate Fudge Brownie recipe has me roped in and I begin sounding like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock as I stare at the chocolate creation on the page, "I want to go to there...."

www.healthbychocolatebook.com

I grab for another piece of chocolate. This time it's a piece off the Licorice Manuka Honey Chocolate Truffle bar I have recently purchased. It was a toss up between the licorice or the mint chocolate. Both are excellent from ZibaDel Natural.  The outer wrapper says "Happiness Guaranteed"  ! For a supplier near you, go to www.zibadel.com


Snapping back to reality, I open the Saturday paper and see another cookbook worth checking out. This one is an e-cookbook and is available as a download. MINDfull co-authored by Carol Greenwood and Daphna Rabinovitch interweaves scientific facts about brain health with recipes that supposedly lower the likelihood of developing dementia.

If you would like to order the e-cookbook it's a $9.99 download from iTunes, Amazon, etc.  Some of the proceeds go to support programs and services that promote excellence and innovations in aging and brain health.  You will see more about Baycrest Health Sciences where research is ongoing at this link
www.baycrest.org

And now if you'll excuse me I must get back to my own research. I am looking into the benefits of eating dessert BEFORE dinner.

Looking For Ways to Make Life Easier

I am always looking for ways to make my father's care home living easier.  Dad is having trouble getting his shoes on and off, so today I went and got him some shoes that have Velcro instead of laces.  Recently my mother bought him some bigger socks made for diabetics and they slip on and off his feet, easier. Dad doesn't have diabetes but the socks are better fitting.

Last week when I was having lunch with him I noticed that he wasn't drinking his fluids. I observed that his hand wasn't tipping the juice into his mouth.  I promptly went and got him a straw and he finished the entire glass of juice in a very short time.  I asked the staff to start giving him a straw when they serve him his cold beverages.

The dry erase board I purchased for him is handy for writing reminders and every time someone visits they change the date and write down events of the day.  A guest book is useful as well but the memo board he can easily look at and see that today I brought him pumpkin pie and we went for a walk and tomorrow Mom will visit.

If your loved one has a cordless phone and has mobility issues, you can purchase a pouch that can go over the bars of their walker or wheel chair and the phone will always be handy for them and so will their television remote.

One of my clients had terrible eyesight and so I bought him one of those huge universal remotes from Staples so he could always find it and could use it on his own!  As well, I got him one of those EASY buttons from Staples.  It was a lot of fun for him (and for his visitors) to push the red button and hear "THAT WAS EASY!"  and really, isn't that the name of the game these days?

Health Care Worker Appreciation Day

It's pouring rain today, but that didn't stop me from driving 45 minutes to visit my father in the care home.  I made a stop first to pick up the Rogers Chocolates for the contest I had.  You winners will be getting your prizes soon.

BTW, this is a fact:  people drive faster in the rain!  I heard a driving instructor say that on the radio the other day and as I was driving the highway and the danger of hydro-planing was real and present, sure enough I noticed that everyone was going a bit higher than the posted speed limit!  I took my speed down a notch or two and drove in the slow lane with classical music playing on the radio.  It was quite relaxing.

Anyway, back to the visit with my dad. He's pretty tired and it was easier to put him in a loaner wheelchair and push him around the garden than to have him accompany me with his walker.  We did go for a  bit of a drive in my car as well, but he fell asleep!

The workers at the care home were in good spirits. Actually, they are always in great moods. There's a good atmosphere there even though they have tough jobs!  They all were given colorful pens from the management today and I got to take one too.

I stopped in at my mother's place and her junk mail was piling up and it gave me a great idea.  After shredding any important personal info that I come across, and after making a few calls to the charities to see if they can stop their barrage of unwanted mail, I am going to give the rest to my father. I think he may actually enjoy opening something addressed to him. He can write on the free memo pads and he can stick the labels they give him on envelopes and he can even write on the Christmas cards.

I know there are charities out there that need donations but this unsolicited stuff that arrives in seniors' mailboxes is just too much! My father in law is going through the same thing, dealing with all the stuff arriving at his place now that my mother in law is in a care facility.

Anyway, that's it for my ramblings today!  To summarize, don't drive fast in the rain, tell a health care worker you appreciate them, and get rid of unwanted charitable solicitations.

You are Never too Old to Try Pilates | Recent News

You are Never too Old to Try Pilates | Recent News

I have never tried Pilates, have you?

Everyone's a Winner!

Right after announcing my contest encouraging readers to write and tell me about someone they knew who had lived to be a ripe ol' age, I attended a Jazzercise class and saw a friend I hadn't seen for ages. Before the  music started and we were warming up,  I asked her to tell me about her father who I knew had lived into his  90's.

"He passed away at age 96" was her response.
I coaxed her, looking for more, "what do you think was the secret to his longevity?"
Without a second thought she spouted out "LOVE"!
"I believe my father stuck around so long because of his love for everything".
"He loved children, he loved nature, he loved animals, he loved me!"
Now both of us were teary eyed and as the music started and we began to march on the spot I asked "and what else, did he drink tea, did he drink coffee, any special diet?"
and she said enthusiastically, "well, come to think of it, he had a shot of espresso every day after age 90!"

Love and a strong shot of caffeine!  I liked that answer! So, even though Linda didn't officially write to me and enter my contest, I am going to bring her some chocolate as a prize anyway.

As well, four  readers submitted their stories and I have decided to give them all  Rogers Chocolates, made right here in Victoria, Canada.  The most detailed of the lot (Janna)gets the most deluxe prize, but all of you are winners and all responses will be published here on my blogspot beginning first with Janna's:


Almost a century ago, in 1917 to be exact, three small islands in the Caribbean by the names of St. John, St. Croix and St. Thomas, which had been under Danish sovereignty for the previous 300 years, were sold to the United States. These days huge cruise ships call in at Charlotte Amalie, the capital city of St.Thomas, but at the beginning of the last century when this story begins, visiting ships would have been merchantment and Danish Naval vessels, with the opportunity for the crew of those vessels to meet and mix with the residents of the city and their families. The head of one of those families and part of the Jewish community was a pharmacist by the name of Petit.

He had a daughter, Clara, whose last named suited her most admirably, for she was indeed petite in stature. At a dance given for visiting Naval officers she met, and was wooed by, my husband's great uncle, eventually coming to Denmark to become his bride.

Two generations later, I, another young island bride, this time from England, came to live in Copenhagen at a time when Great Aunt Clara, by then eighty-three, was the matriarch of the immediate Danish family. A dainty, dignified figure in what seemed like her unchanging outfit of a long black dress, set off by a high white lace collar that complemented the elegantly coiffed white hair atop her head. A tiny black velvet ribbon circling the neckline completed the picture of a lady whose appearance seemed frozen in time.

She was a Danish citizen, but when the infamous round-up of persons of Jewish origin took place in l943 during the German occupation of Denmark in World War II, she was subjected, with hundreds of other Jewish Danes, to the utter indignity of transportation in a cattle wagon to Teresienstadt, a concentration camp in German occupied Czechoslovakia. A camp remembered to-day not only for the totally inhuman conditions that prevailed there, but also for the fact that before International Red Cross inspectors were permitted to make their one and only visit to report on what they saw and experienced, the camp authorities were instructed to create a facade of normalcy by planting flowers, painting buildings and permitting some cultural activities for the benefit of the visitors. A facade behind which, when the Red Cross inspection was over, the brutality of every aspect of camp life was continuous, including the forced witnessing by the whole population of public executions of fellow prisoners. Two and one half years later, in May of 1945, Germany surrendered to the Allied Forces, and the return of concentration camp survivors to their homelands began.

I met Great Aunt Clara in the summer of 1946 and very soon learned from other family members that her horrific wartime experiences were never to be alluded to or spoken of. She lived, with her two unmarried daughters, in a spacious fifth floor apartment reached by a spiral staircase of the style of 1800's buildings before the advent of elevators.

The fact that she lived to be almost 101 years old just may be attributed, in part, to the exercise imposed by those stairs, in addition to her very firm will.

Readers of this story who would like to learn more of the camp/ghetto at Teresienstadt to gain some concept of what this little lady survived, will find all the information they need on "Google".

And submitted by Bill:

An uncle of mine lived to be a ripe old 92, probably because of no single factor but several.
Not an educated man, Uncle John was a good carpenter. He built houses - one a year. He'd begin building in the spring, by fall the house was finished. In November he would go deer-hunting for a week or two and for the rest of the winter it seemed he more or less hibernated.
Later in life I learned that he would often walk the neighbourhood; sometimes on his meanderings he would, finding an old bicycle left out for the trash vehicle to pick up, take it home and work on it over the winter... come spring he would sell it.
Uncle John read the newspaper every day; he enjoyed a particular columnist and would write him a letter from time to time; occasionally his letter would be published.
But more important than his simple lifestyle, it was a deep and abiding love relationship between him and Aunt Norma that gave his life longevity...but also, in a way, ended it. He was approaching his 90's the last time I went to visit them. As we sat chatting I could not help but be impressed by them holding hands while telling me how they had worked together on the lovely needlepoint picture they showed me. She died the following year and he, sick with loneliness, died a year later.

From Dana:

Both of my Great Aunts lived to 91. They were the oldest ever in our family where the average age of passing seems to be 66.  I put it down to having LOVE and SUPPORT when they needed it and a sense of humour. Auntie always said it was her Mum's stodgy puddings.  Or, it could be that I gave them some crystals that had healing properties one year at Christmas.  Aunty swore that they worked!


From Susan:
I had a grandfather who lived to 95! 
I think he lived so long because he had a great sense of humour and loved to golf.
He played golf until the very last year of his life!

Grey Tsunami letter writer

Hi All,
To date I have had over 3,000 hits on my blog!  No, it isn't my mother visiting the site time and time again. I really do have regular readers like YOU (okay, and my Mom!) and thanks for keeping me doing what I like doing.

 To celebrate, I am encouraging you to write to me and elaborate on the life of someone you knew personally who lived to be a ripe old age. Probably because they ...(finish this sentence or add to it)
For example:  "My Aunt Elsie lived to the age of 96 because she never had any stress in her life."
I will choose a winner and send chocolate. You can either write to me in the comment section below this blog entry or you can write to me at: makingdyingfun@gmail.com  When I pick a winner, I will write to you and get your mailing address.

Bill was one of the winners of my last contest.  He posted one of my favorite responses to my request for readers to put together a virtual list of things they would take into their twilight years.  If you look back through my installments, you'll see that I had posted my own Grey Tsunami kit bag items.

Here's what Bill wrote:

My marbles...all of them.

My baseball glove...for when I start my comeback.

My D-Ribose...a good fatigue beater

Lotsa good movies

An unlimited supply of classical music

A good bike

My journal

The best eyesight I can muster

My skateboard

And, if allowed, my wish list:

a heart pure, on fire and wide as the world

joy as deep and abiding as the ocean

a spirit with two good wings

enthusiasm beyond measure

unlimited energy and muscles that don't atrophy

a keen-sighted soul and ears that hear

a sense of drama as I journey through act 3

absolute sincerity

endless curiosity and

my wife...without whom I would have no anchor.

Well I came up with more that anticipated. Could even add a bunch more, but hey, let's leave it at that, it was fun, thanks for the opportunity to participate. And, oh yes...I'd probably pack a load of art supplies including a large roll of rice paper, some black ink and a set of Chinese brushes.

Love ya Gail,

Bill

NOTE FROM GAIL:  If you are entering my new contest and writing about how your friend/relative lived to be a ripe ol' age, you don't need to stress about how many words you need to write. It can just be one sentence or one paragraph.  Good luck!

A Reader Sends Me Her Top Ten

Mrs. W. wrote to me after reading my article on SuperAgers:

Hi Gail,
Thanks for the report, I too think I am a SuperAger and I think the major benefit is who you had for parents. That said, I do not just sit around and enjoy my genes!

1)  I refuse ALL prescription drugs

2)  I take an unbelievable amount of supplements. In 1992, I responded to an offer in the mail. It was Dr. Julian Whitaker's Health Letter. I cut out many articles and only recently let my subscription lapse after 20 years of wonderful direction.

3) I did Aqua Fit until I got rid of my car. I find walking for my needs I seem to have less need for regular adjustments at the chiropractor.  I don't do a regular walk, just to do my regular living as a person does with their car.  I do a minimum work out in the bathroom most mornings with stretches and two pound weights.

4) I was doing crosswords and Sudoku daily. It forces me to stay at the table until I have finished my breakfast.  Lately I'm taking a break from that, but I did find it fun.

5) I do a modest amount of volunteerism.  Volunteering is good for your heart!

6) I no longer watch the news.

7) I laugh a lot, especially when playing games (Cribbage every Tuesday and Carpet Bowling on Friday)

8) I was interviewed for a study on healthy ageing. My name was chosen randomly by BC Health

9) I do a lot of creative sewing and knitting.

10) Every morning I have coffee in bed at 6am, then I read and then I meditate (not the kind where you empty your mind but where you go with the flow) and several times a day I pray (once again not someone else's printed formula but my own one to one chat with the Top Gun)

I am 82 years now and on my 89th birthday I plan to stop buying supplements and let them run out.  My mom was buried on her 90th birthday. Sounds good to me. 

Oh and one more thing: I don't buy organic but I would if I was still cooking for kids.  I do like to eat lots raw.

Good Ol' Bessie Cooper!

Bessie Cooper turned 116 recently!! I don't know her personally but I wish I did.  Here's her fabulous picture and caption.

Bessie Cooper, age 116: ‘I mind my own business. And I don’t eat junk food’

Bessie Cooper, age 116: ‘I mind my own business. And I don’t eat junk food’

click on this blue writing and you will see photo and article

Here's a new website.  Linda Popov has a new baby! It's her recently published book "Graceful Endings"
www.gracefulendings.net

To See or Not to See

When grandparents are living in a care home it can sometimes be difficult to persuade the grandchildren to pay them a visit. We know that the elderly forget names and faces and occasionally they show disinterest in the young ones.  It's hard to convince the kids that it's nothing they've done that has taken the smile off of Grandma or Grandpa's face.

More often though visitors to care homes be they young or old are greeted with extreme delight. Eyes become brighter, body language becomes younger as they sit up straighter to show an obvious interest in their guests.

It's human nature to want to remember someone in their best form, choosing to have an image of health and vitality etched into the mind. Opting to stop visits because it makes us too sad to see our loved one frail and aging, while understandable, can often result in guilt.

Here are age appropriate ways to make your visits as pleasant as possible.  Explain to little children before you enter that we need to use our soft indoor voices so as not to startle the other grandparents who live there. Tell them that there may be a few smells they don't like but that they should try to keep smiling.

If possible, bring your loved one to a sun room or den or if the weather permits, to a garden for more of a private visit. That way it takes your little visitors away from the areas that may have unpleasant odors.

Enjoying ice cream or cookies with Granny can be a good memory maker and make her smile but find out in advance if there are any dietary restrictions and follow accordingly.  There may be swallowing problems or diabetes present so please check with the nurse or care aid.

Plan ahead of time to bring a photo album or coach the kids about reading for them or singing for them and explain that this will make Grandpa's heart happier.

Remember,even if our loved one's body and mind are deteriorating, and no matter how hesitant kids are to visit, and this goes for yourself as well, their soul is intact and will be refreshed and gladdened by your love and attention.

Send me your ideas and stories about how you have made visits special and I will publish them.

Senior Olympic Synchronized Swimming

Senior Olympic Synchronized Swimming

Are you a Super Ager?

Every week a new headline, a new study, a new piece of research says that diet and exercise will keep us young but also that genetics play a huge role in whether we will have a sharp mind into our golden years.

On the radio the other day, guest Emily Rogalski from the Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer's Disease Center at Northwestern University in Chicago, told listeners that the study conducted by her department at Northwestern showed there is more than one path to being a SuperAger.

Ms Rogalski remarked that even if genetics is involved we should not give up the healthy way of living. In her study she found that SuperAgers are from different walks of life, different socio-economic backgrounds, different cultures, etc.  She commented that some enjoyed exercise and some did not.  While diet and exercise were important for some who participated in the study, it was not important for others. Here's a link with more about the results of the study

http://www.canada.com/health/superagers+have+brains+similar+those+years+younger+study/7102249/story.html

 The bottom line is that SuperAgers don't lose brains cells very fast and the cortex in their brain is thicker. Lucky people! I bet their teeth are good too. No plaque and certainly no gum disease. An article in today's paper cites a US Study from the University of California that followed nearly 5,500 elderly people (yikes, sounds like stalking to me!) over an 18-year period and found that those who reported brushing their teeth less than once a day were up to 65 per cent more likely to develop dementia than those who brushed daily.

The best advice I can offer after all this is that you should keep in mind there are TWO signs that you are NOT a SuperAger. The FIRST is the loss of memory, the other one escapes me. Hmmm.

Not Just A Job

It is with profound gratitude flowing from my heart that I honour those people who work in health care for the love of caring for others. Specifically, men and women engaging in caring for the aging population.

One day last Spring I met a guy named Andy who owns his own office janitorial company and normally works at night.  He explained to me that he likes to visit with seniors and so he has kept an on-call position at a nursing home so that he can still work with people who remind him of his grandparents.

The seniors facilities in my city are full of people with similar stories, the only difference is that they work full time and not just once in a while like Andy.  The common link between janitor and care aid is the love for the residents. This was obvious last week when I brought my father back to the care home where he lives.  Dad had been away for several weeks in hospital and when I returned him to the same room they had held for him since his emergency departure, he received a hero's welcome!  From the lady who works in the laundry, to the cleaning staff, the care aids, the RNs, the activity workers, right up to the top brass, Dad was greeted with such love and genuine care that my heart sang.  My father was a bit overwhelmed --but in a good way--and quickly felt at ease even though he could barely remember staying there prior to the hospital stay.

As one of my former clients stated "Everyone knows the monkey, but the monkey knows no one". A very apt description when you think of a zoo with everyone peering in the primate house and getting super excited by what they see.  That's kind of how Dad must have felt, but the good thing is, he's not in a cage and it doesn't matter that he couldn't remember the names of the employees. The main thing is that they remembered him and were happy to see him come "home".

My family and I are so fortunate to have our patriarch in a place where he is respected and encouraged  to participate or not participate in the daily programs. If he wants to take a nap, they leave him to it.  If he wants to join in and sing with the music therapist or ring the bells in the bell ringer group, he is welcomed. Bar none though, his favorite activity which he doesn't bow out of is the afternoon ice cream social which happens one afternoon a week.

I can sleep at night knowing my father is in good hands with people who really love their jobs. You can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices.  I bought a dozen roses and asked that they be placed in the staff room today and included a card that said how much they all are appreciated. Not really enough considering what they do, but a small gesture on my part will let them know that their spirit of service to others is what makes this world a better place.

No more Alzheimer's by 2025!

What a great headline!  Always refreshing to receive optimistic news for a change from the daily paper. It certainly caught my eye because the disease runs in my family.  My father, my grandfather, my great grandmother, uncles, aunts, great uncles, were all plagued with some form of dementia. We call it "the family curse." As a child, I heard it referred to it as "senility".

The term senile refers to losing one's mind.  However, there are more accurate terms which refer to the actual type of senility or dementia. Large strokes and smaller strokes referred to as TIA's (mini strokes), vascular dementia, Lewy Body disease, Alzheimer's are a few causes of dementia.

Fortunately, great strides are being made with researchers honing in on certain genes and identifying  those genes that are most likely to cause plaque on the brain. Recently, some scientists in Iceland took that gene research even farther and  discovered a gene that fortunate folks ( 1 in 100,000)  have, which deters Alzheimer's.  These are the people who will almost certainly not come down with the mind wasting disease.

http://www.wtsp.com/news/article/263580/81/Genetic-mutation-may-protect-against-Alzheimers

Medications are being created and tested that will actually reverse brain plaque and put an end to Alzheimer's Disease.  A medical breakthrough that will change people's lives forever so that families like mine will not have to dread the family curse.

I am not yet in the target range for  participating in research at my local university but in a few years I will be  of that 55 + demographic and will be sure to contact the Centre on Aging at the University of Victoria so they can track my predisposition to memory problems like those of my forefathers.

There are many studies currently being conducted and participants are needed. Some of the requirements are that you are in good health with no history of head injury or stroke in the last year.  If you're interested in what the Centre on Aging is doing right now, go to http://www.coag.uvic.ca/  and click on the "opportunities" tab.

I love sharing positive news with you and being the news junkie that I am you can be sure that there will be more of it in the blogs to come.  Please sign up to be a follower of my blog and you will be notified whenever I post a new entry.  It's easy to do, just click on "subscribe by email" at the bottom of this installment (you should see it near the comments section) or "follow by email" at the side of this installment.
In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying your summer.

  "In the garden of thy heart, plant naught but the rose of love"
~Baha'u'llah

Grey Tsunami winners

If you read my previous blog, you'll know that I asked readers to tell me what they would put in a virtual Grey Tsunami Preparedness Kit.  I offered prizes for writers who let me know what they would include in their old age grab and go.

There were many excellent responses. It was obvious that people put a lot of thought into what they would want to carry with them into their sunset years.

Some said I had done a good job with the list but they just wanted to add one or two things.  I got a kick out of one of my peers (female) who said she would make sure that a "good sex life" was included!

Another wanted good eyesight, good books to read, and a cat to sit on her lap, as well as the most comfy chair in the world!

Darlene, who is a financial planner, wants you to visit her for your financial analysis and long term care insurance!  Besides networking, she says she would bring her e-reader.

Sue wants to hang onto her memories for as long as she can.

Thank you to two of my biggest fans Dolores and Leslie who love the contents of MY basket and think that because I am so prepared that they will be coming to my place!

Kudos to Mary-Wynne who sent me a lovely story which I will share with you at a later date.

The first, second, and third place honours go to (drum roll please)

Martha (a.k.a. Lemonaide Life) for her list of things to pack which included "lots of time to spend with those I love, enjoying the simple things in life"...and "funky sunglasses".  You can see her entire list in my comments section.

Bill~ who wants to take all of his marbles and adds "a sense of drama as I journey through Act 3".  You can see his clever list which is also in my comments section.

Lynda~ wants a pen and paper and states poignantly "I would make a list of all the people I have loved and cared about, and do my best to put into words, how much I valued knowing them, and how they had enriched my life."  She added "I do try to say these things as the years go by, but sometimes I am too tired, too rushed, too forgetful to say what needs to be said." She finished with she would hate to think that her life would end or her memory would fail her without those people knowing just how much they meant to her.

For their efforts they all get Rogers Chocolates made right here in Victoria, Canada.  Martha, for her first place win, gets an artsy tin with a sampling of Victoria Creams.  I will be mailing her prize to her in Edmonton later this week.

Bill and Lynda get large bars of chocolate and I will probably deliver them in person since they don't live too far away.

Thanks one and all. I appreciate that you took the time to write to me!

Remember that after each blog, there is a section for comments and you can post it as "anon" if you don't have a blog account.

Grey Tsunami

Baby Boomers are bracing for a huge tidal wave. It's all of us retiring and growing old together.  Flotillas of us searching for availability at care homes.  Thousands upon thousands heading to higher ground hoping perhaps our kids will build a suite for us in their place.

The headlines scream like Henny Penny that the sky is falling and that we'd better get prepared. We should run, not walk, to financial planners and get that nest egg bigger.  Prudent saving. Do yoga. Stretch. Eat Fish Oil.

If you had a grab and go kit for when the big surge happens what would you include in it?  You can pack material goods if you want to or you could stash some virtual goods.

Here's what I would want in a bag ready by the door:

• flexibility (two types)

-physical  I don't need to be able to do the splits, but it'd be great to be able to walk or run
-emotional  It'd be great if I didn't sweat the small stuff-

• sense of humour

-the self deprecating kind
-and some quirky thrown in

• volunteerism/service

-let me help others in any way I can

• strength

-in order to do something for myself if needed. I might need to lift a tree or something.

• extra virtues

-joy, patience, faith, and anything else I could fit in there

• tons of memories

-childhood, marriage, birth of children and grandchildren

• the ability to remember names

-I hate getting that blank look on my face

• prayers and inspirational quotes

-some committed to memory and some written on bits of paper and laminated so they won't get destroyed

• and a few material items just to be on the safe side:

matches, candles, toilet paper, hip protectors, tea bags, important phone numbers, Kraft Dinner, water, flashlight, batteries, warm blanket, photos of loved ones, a few gold bars, a lot of chocolate.

I would be interested in hearing what you would put in your Grey Tsunami Preparedness Kit.
If you don't have a gmail/blog account, you can just send it to me as "anon" in the comments section.  I will pick a first, second, and third best and will award prizes.

-

Energy, Enthusiasm, and Enlightenment, at Age 90!

Meet Alex. I am using his real name because he deserves recognition. Sometimes I use fake names to protect the innocent.  He's actually 91 and  an example for all of us. I met him for lunch to see what makes him tick and here's his story:

He began with these words "I have had an incredible life. I have gone from being very sensitive about what people thought of me to learning to be confident, and realizing that I wanted to make a difference in the lives of other people."

He was born in December of 1920 and says he had wonderful parents. He didn't get much in the way of a formal education but he sure went far in life. There are a number of things that he says benefited him greatly with elocution lessons being high on the list. Learning to speak clearly and confidently  really gave him poise in any setting. As well, joining the drama club at school and acting in theatre productions after school increased his courage and really taught him how to read and  memorize.

As well, joining the YMCA in his home town of Winnipeg, Manitoba, was one of the best things he ever did. He's been a life long member and was recently awarded a lifetime membership for his years and years of dedication to a healthy existence.  I learned that on his 90th birthday, the "Y" said to him, "Alex, you don't need to pay anymore, just keep coming".

So he does! He works out three times a week, stretching to keep limber and using the rowing machine for at least 20 minutes each time he goes.  He also uses the elliptical training machine.  He doesn't have time to do much swimming now but he used to and as if that wasn't enough, he told me that at one time had been good at gymnastics and mentioned that for over 30 years he was a jogger!

In his professional life success was his, selling life insurance. In the beginning, "fear of poverty", kept him going but not long into his career, he realized the importance of keeping healthy so he could reap the rewards of living a long time. His friendliness and honesty brought him many clients and working for a good company kept the commissions coming. It appears that he was obviously financially savvy and is now enjoying a good life in retirement.

What else has he done?  He's volunteered. He's given back. Through his church and through service organizations. He was in the Rotary Club for nearly 30 years and he was a member of the United Way.  Something was missing though, if you can believe it! (His words, not mine) and he discovered through prayer and reflection, that it was a deep longing to assist people in a spiritual capacity. Alex's quest to make a difference in people's lives brought him to volunteering in the Spiritual Care Department at our local hospital filling the void that he had felt.  As a result, he has become passionate about Spiritual Care. I met him as a fellow volunteer at least ten years ago. I have always been impressed by him as have others in the hospital. Here's one gem though that I hadn't heard from him until now. "Gail," he said, "I have sat and listened to people who are in real pain, and it's not just physical pain, and through this I have learned to listen and I have listened to learn."Alex then added, "my son told me that's what I needed to do and so I have put it into practice."

My friend Alex hasn't always had an easy life but he acknowledges that without hardship, there is no growth. He always kept his optimism and he's always known that he has to make the most of his life on this earth.  He's been a good provider, a good father and a wonderful husband.  Right now, he has made some choices that haven't been easy. He'll be making a major move to be closer to family. His lovely wife has some health challenges and it means that they will have to move in order to  have some supports in place but he meets this challenge with practicality and wisdom.

I didn't doodle while I listened to Alex, but rather I made some notes on paper about his appearance: -Neatly cropped beard and -he's wearing Tilley (brand of shirt) and I jotted some of his words of wisdom like "Live today, this is the only life you have" and "enjoy every minute".

Always ready to learn something new, Alex bought himself a computer in his 80's and he emails, websurfs, and is a fan of my blog! A lover of books, he enthusiastically recommends his current favorite: "Seeking the Heart of Wisdom: The path of insight and meditation"  by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield.

Alex Ramsay is still learning and eagerly passing on wisdom, exemplifying the body, mind, and spirit of which we are made,  nourishing all those dimensions and inspiring us to live happily to a ripe ol' age.

Old Man In Nursing Home Reacts To Hearing Music From His Era

Happy and Helpful

Every seniors care facility needs a Ron, a Terry, a Verna, or a Nora, but not all at once!  They are the residents who have severe memory loss and are roaming around ready to help at a moment's notice.  They are the people who are blissfully content and absolutely adorable.

Ron, a former search and rescue pilot, stands around the nursing station with his fingers sneaking under the glass grabbing at  pencils, paper and binders.  Sometimes, he gets the gate open and sneaks in to do some paper shuffling and filing.  Occasionally, he just follows behind the employees and gets into the office with them and tries to pick up the telephone when it rings.

Terry, obviously a former organizer of some sort, I suspect perhaps a travel agent before retirement, is organizing tours to get out of the locked facility.  "Come on ", she urges the other inmates, "you have to get through security, the plane will be leaving soon".  Other times she has people convinced they are going on a bus tour or a cruise ship. "You must line up here folks, the bus will be coming soon." or "I think if you come with me, you will be very pleased with the room"

Verna, was originally in the emergency ward with my father, and is cute, huggable, and  oh so crafty in her attempts to escape.  She required a security guard to ensure she didn't break out of ER. It was for her own good, she would have got lost wearing nothing but hospital issued p.j.s. That would have been a real tragedy.

A few months later, Verna just happened to be discharged from hospital and was admitted into the same facility as my dad, and like him, seems to be more settled now.  She is no longer in the hospital gown but is wearing a pant suit and carrying a purse. She is easily mistaken for a visitor and not a resident. This has led to people using the code on the key pad and letting her out because she insists she has to catch a bus. Fortunately this security breach was caught shortly afterwards and Verna was chased by frantic staff who got her back into safety before she did get on a bus!

My husband had been forewarned by me about Verna so he was prepared when he met her. What he wasn't expecting though was her willingness to rent the facility to him. She walked him around the seniors residence explaining that she owned it and that she could rent the dining hall to him and if needed she could shut or open areas for smaller or larger gatherings!

Although Verna is delusional about the part she plays at the home, the staff let her continue to be "in charge" and she maintains her cheerful optimism, her willingness to assist, and her incredible gift of music. She  plays beautifully on the care home piano and entertains many of the staff members and visitors on a daily basis.

And last but not least, let me tell you about Nora, a lady of about 70, with dementia. She's really robust and ready to help anyone at anytime.  She is often seen pushing patients in wheelchairs, folding laundry and escorting new visitors to see patients.

Unfortunately, I don't think we can choose how we are going to behave if and when we get dementia. We can only hope that we will be good natured and happy with our situation.  It makes things go so much smoother. One of my demented clients stated it quite well, saying, "It's one thing to lose your mind and not know it, but to be losing your mind and know it, is a very sad thing". In her case she had been a doctor of psychiatry and found it troubling and overwhelming and she wallowed in despair.

One of my favorite prayers that I recite daily affirms to the Creator that "I will be a happy and joyful being". I  hope I remember those words when I get older and perhaps I can add a request that I can be a helpful being under all circumstances.

Open to Suggestions

How often is it that you get a chance to voice your concern over treatment at a hospital? I thought it was wonderful that I received a survey when picking up my father upon his discharge from the geriatric ward last week.  Dad had overstayed his welcome. They needed his bed for others who were requiring acute care.

After nearly a three month stint in hospital, my mother and I were offered placement for him at a  local intermediate care facility. We accepted, although we are still hoping to get him into a care home closer to where Mom lives.  Ideally we would have liked to have him return to his home but his memory issues had become bigger than all of us.

Getting back to the survey, I had very little bad to say about his stay in hospital.  Dad enjoyed the food and the service was good.  Sure, it wasn't home, but most of the nurses, care aids, kitchen staff, activity workers, occupational therapists, social workers, etc. tried their darndest to make my father feel at ease.

As the head nurse and the social worker told me, my comments would help them to work even better as a team.  My only bit of constructive criticism was a slight chastisement of some of the staff ( a very small percentage of them) who spoke to dementia patients like it was their own fault they were agitated. Instead of recognizing the memory problem and confusion as being scary and uncontrolled, a couple of them had responded to Dad's insecurity with "so, what else is new?" or  "He's always scared".

Many of the staff members were amazing. It isn't an easy job to have the same question asked of you over and over again or having disturbing vocalizations going on for hours at a time. The hospital employees of ward 2-SE held their heads high and with a kind word or touch made patients and family members feel at ease.  They spoke to distressed patients in the manner they deserved to be spoken to, with kindness and compassion.  Replacing the queries of the patients with "I think maybe you feel nervous because you don't know what is going on."  Adding, "Perhaps I can help you feel better about this situation".

  Some worked a full shift to 11pm and then when a co-worker called in sick, they came back and worked again the next morning at 7am.  Not much turn around time to be well-rested and happy, but amazingly, they were.

I didn't make note of these things on the survey, there wasn't really a place for too many compliments. There were your basic questions about food, cleanliness, etc. Was I "really satisfied", "somewhat satisfied", "disappointed/did not meet expectations".  Believe me, I was quite satisfied.  My father received above average care in a brand new facility. The head nurse thanked me for handing in my survey and said she would pass along my comments to the social worker to read and process and make recommendations.

Thinking back on it now, I should have mentioned in the comments section that the taps were a little hard to operate for someone who is accustomed to using knobs to turn on and off the water. The 'wave your hands' under the faucet took a while for someone with memory issues to remember. Of course I realize those types of units are installed for sanitation reasons. Fewer germs if one does not have to turn on and off taps.  As well, learning to operate the lights in his room was difficult for him, as the switches weren't always close to the light source.

It's give and take there at the hospital and I did take suggestions from the staff as well.  Recommendations to buy my father some non-slip socks. The kind with rubberized soles. Since he didn't like to wear his slippers, the socks would be a good addition to his wardrobe and keep him safe from potential falls.  Medical supply stores have those kind of stockings and I will be picking up a pair or two tomorrow.

Other ideas that were given to me by relatives, I certainly took note of, like recommending to my mother that she hire a driver to take her to and from the hospital to see Dad.  She mostly preferred riding the two buses but on occasion let people drive her the 30 minute trip to visit at the hospital.

Although I have worked with seniors with dementia for many years I am not too proud to learn new tricks. Redirecting negative thoughts of loved ones to reflect the positive things, is still a skill that I am acquiring. The social worker loaned my mother and I a DVD which contained lots of useful information on dealing with the grief, anger, and loss, that people go through when losing a family member in the fog of Alzheimer's Disease/Dementia.

Taking time for myself even though the guilt and desire to be at my father's side overwhelms me, has been a hard one to learn. My friend suggested I join her beginners yoga class, which I did this past Monday.  I haven't achieved Nirvana (actually it wasn't Buddhist meditation) in just one lesson but I learned some breathing exercises, some good stretches, and had the best nap I've had in ages.

"Namaste" one and all!  When we are open to suggestions, we honour the spirit in ourselves and each other.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Sparkle the Clown had a lot of living to do.  She had discovered a lump in her breast too late and the cancer had spread to her bone.  Always the optimist, Sparkle, who was also known as my friend Lyn, said she had too many things she wanted to do and didn't plan on dying for quite a while.

The Christmas cards kept arriving from her, year after year, and she usually mailed them before she took her annual trip to sunny places to see friends and to golf.  She loved to golf. Come to think of it she loved a lot of things. She loved people and kids, and she loved her ruby red shoes (closest thing to Dorothy's from Wizard of Oz that I have ever seen!) and she loved organizing gatherings.

She instigated the annual ClownFest in our town.  Her smile was infectious, her jokes corny, her zeal and enthusiasm contagious.  Even when she was getting sicker and sicker, she could still put on a strong voice when she called me up on the phone. "Hey Gail, it's Lyn"  "I want to invite you to something"!

The FUNraiser she put together last fall was to raise money for a new medication that was doing a trial run and was not covered by our medicare.  She knew it was going to be expensive and not guaranteed to work but she wanted to give it a try anyway.  So, she organized a musical evening, which included a silent auction and entertainment.  She sang her trademark song "People are One" and everyone clapped and joined in.

The cancer had spread to all parts of her body and I am sure she was in a considerable amount of pain but  in true clown fashion, she kept smiling that whole evening.  Everyone had a great time and Lyn phoned me the next day to report that over $3,000 had been raised!

She intended to go somewhere warm for a month or so and then come back to her home for some treatment but she was getting frailer and that trip never happened.  I visited her in hospice a few times in January and she could still smile and say a few words. She held court and many friends and family came to be with her.  Cards from so many who loved her adorned her room.  I read one to her that had just arrived at the same time I walked in the door.  It was from the Fall Fair Committee and they thanked her for her many years of service doing face painting and balloon animals for the children who visited the annual event.

I was sorry she was going to be leaving this world. She was only in her 60's and I knew I was going to miss her joie de vivre.  One of the last times I saw her, I asked her to do me a favour. We had a mutual friend, an Irish lady named Pat, who had passed from cancer nearly ten years ago.  I said "Lyn, when you get to the other side, can you send me a sign that you and Pat have met up and that you're having a good time?  She nodded and indicated that she would, indeed do that.

A couple of times before she passed away, I was at the hospital visiting my father and while walking to the parking lot to get in my car, a little hummingbird kept chirping in the tree outside hospice.  I know that the hummingbird in many cultures is considered a sign of the soul and it crossed my mind that perhaps Lyn's   departure was very close at hand.  Sure enough, the next day I got word from Lyn's husband that she had left peacefully just after midnight.

Yesterday, while driving to Lyn's funeral through the pouring rain, I saw a rainbow ahead and it went from one side of the burial park to the other, and  I started thinking could this be the sign?  A rainbow is certainly a wonderful thing to see right before a funeral!  But, was this "my" sign that she had promised?  I recalled a movie I had seen when I was a youngster called "Finian's Rainbow" about a leprechaun --that sign of good luck and  pot of gold legend synonymous with Ireland.  I parked my car and walked to the gravesite, holding my bright red umbrella above my head. The sun started shining and as I stood there waiting for the service to begin, a leprechaun walked by me!  I  kid you not, it was Lyn's son, he had decided to come to his Mom's funeral in a sparkly green leprechaun suit with a sparkly green clown/leprechaun hat !  There were other clowns there too, not so strange, but a Leprechaun? That really was MY sign.    Thanks Lyn and Pat!

I know this sounds far fetched but I swear every word is true.  To see a picture of Lyn, click on this link:

http://www.clownsandcompany.com

Body, Mind, and Spirit

The Victoria Health Show is an annual two day event that brings together suppliers and distributors who deal in health related products.  Each January it is one of my favorite places to visit in my home town and ranks right up there in my books with the Victoria Tea Festival and the Victoria Chocolate Festival and the Organic Islands Show.  Last year I added the Coffee Festival to my list of trade shows to browse.  The latter had me bouncing off walls after sampling hot and cold coffees, coffee beans, coffee candies, and biscotti. I discovered the smooth decaf just a little too late. What a lot of fun though!

I am neither a supplier nor a distributor. I am a consumer. I love going from booth to booth enjoying the free samples, the demos, the wealth of information, the prize draws and the discounted items to buy. Yesterday was no exception and as I made my way through the crowds at the Health Show, I gleaned more knowledge of what is good for us to eat, what will aid in our longevity and how to keep our brain healthy.

Green drinks that are palatable and don't taste like mowed lawn are high on my list of things you should have in your cupboard.  You mix a teaspoon or so in water or juice and down the hatch.  If you eat at least 8 servings of fruits and vegetables every day, you may not see the need to have one of these products in your house but I feel that if I have some in the morning, I am covered for the day, just in case I don't get a bit of broccoli and kale into the gullet.

Every pantry should have at least one salt substitute, something like Mrs. Dash or if you're going to use salt, trying using less or adding a pinch of Himalayan salt or something from a source a little closer to home like Canadian Sea Salt from the Vancouver Island Salt Co.

I have become wiser about the cooking oils and salad dressing oils I buy. My cupboard now boasts rice bran oil, ( I received a free bottle at the show yesterday....thank you CarrotLines.com) olive oil, grapeseed oil, and macadamia nut oil. I am now educated about flax seed as well and will give you a source to check out at the end of this blog.  Also, met a friend who is excited about the benefits of Aloe.  She's lost weight using a product that she absolutely raves about. 

You can see where I am headed with all this info, right?  Making Dying Fun is a place where I generally write about the elderly and dementia or something related to Boomers, retirement, aging parents, yadda, yadda.  This installment is really no different. We have to look after our bodies so they don't break down prematurely.  We have to care for our minds as best we can, learn new skills such as drumming. Sounds so random, but did you know that drumming has been proven to really exercise our brain?!

Here's a tip I didn't learn at the show, I have known it for a while. Our spirits need nourishment too.  Please don't neglect yours!  Random acts of kindness, selfless acts of service, practising forgiveness, looking to a higher power, praying, meditating, will all provide sustenance for your soul.

None of us are getting out of here alive. We can't pack a kit bag for our departure but we can make some preparations in terms of eternal happiness.  I explained that to one of the vendors at the Victoria Health Show yesterday. His company is an environmentally friendly company making pens and paper and displays from green energies and materials. We began discussing my book that I eventually want to have published and in the course of our conversation, after I told him the title of my blog, he told me about his visits with his grandfather who had dementia. He said he hadn't minded hearing the same stories over and over or sitting with him even if there was nothing to say.  I relayed my insight to him as best I could.  Although his grandfather's body was breaking down, that it in no way affected his soul. The soul is free from the maladies of the body and brain. I added that I feel that our spirit or soul is our unique essence and that it is eternal. My new friend showed me the goosebumps up and down his arm. He wasn't cold, he was just absolutely moved by our conversation.

I arrived home giddy with delight hauling three bags full of brochures, samples of vitamins, hemp granola bars, Greek style yogurt,gluten free cereal and my free rice bran oil from the show!  The highlight though wasn't the loot I brought back with me although it was awesome, the pinacle was talking to Jeff about his grandfather and having a truly meaningful conversation.  We need all three elements of body, mind, and spirit to get the best out of living.




Links from above:
http://www.victoriateafestival.com/
http://www.coffeecollective.ca/
http://www.organicislands.ca/
http://www.canadiangoldenflaxseed.com/
http://www.rhythmconnect.com/
http://www.5min.com/video/exercising-your-brain-97705977
The Victoria Health Show is over for this year but you can find out about it by going to www.healthshows.com

Life Happens

A lot has happened since I last blogged. In early December, my dear father ended up in the seniors mental health ward of the local hospital.  He had headed for home while my mother was at the dentist and got disoriented, ending up at a local gas station, asking the attendant to call an ambulance for him.  You see, he had gone out without his wallet and i.d. and had no recollection of his address.  If he had that kind of information on him, I suppose the young clerk would have just called a taxi instead to take my father home. As it was though, Dad ended up at emerg and I met him there.

It was not a very nice week and that week stretched into a month and here we are at the seven week mark.  It has been an anxious time for him and a stressful time for my mother, and myself, and for my brothers who live far away.  It's been hard for the grandchildren to see him in angst. 

There have been consultations with a geriatric team. The occupational therapist who makes assessments about my father's ability to cope was at one of the meetings. So was the geriatric psychiatrist, the social worker, the liaison nurse, and of course my mother and myself.

It was heartbreaking to make the decision that he could no longer be at home. With the level of dementia he has which affects his frontal lobe, the place where reason, logic, and emotion are housed, it is not a good idea to have him live in the same residence as my Mom.  The guilt gushed forth. How could she after standing by this man for decades of marriage, do this to him?

December 28th was their 60th wedding anniversary. We had a small lunch time gathering for them in a lounge at the hospital. It was as nice as it could be, considering the circumstances.  We had pizza and there were balloons and  flowers. I tried to create a Hawaiian themed party reminiscent of  the honeymoon they had taken to those tropical isles so many years ago.

It was actually my 26th wedding anniversary that same day. However, my husband was out of town at the hospital bedside of his mother who had suffered a stroke over Christmas!  I woke up that morning thinking of that saying "when it rains, it pours"!  It certainly had been stormy over this period!

It's a new year now and we wait for his placement at a care facility.  We keep our fingers crossed that we can get him into someplace close to their home so that Mom can easily visit him.

As I have learned victory always follows crisis. Happiness shows up after despair. Things have not all been bleak. December 31st was the due date for my first grandchild. He or she was to be my parents third great-grandchild.  We played a waiting game, through New Year's and then finally the little one arrived!  On Friday the thirteenth of January, we welcomed a 7lb 9oz boy into the world!

The angelic face of this new addition to our family graces the wall of my father's hospital room.  He is hope for the future.  His photograph is surrounded by other pictures of the two great grandaughters and other smiling family members.  Dad is surrounded by love. He may feel alone sometimes but I remind him every night when I phone him to say goodnight that he is never alone. We are with him in thought. He has caring nurses and every day is a new one for him with a steady stream of visitors.

We have so much to be thankful for. Life happens!