Every seniors care facility needs a Ron, a Terry, a Verna, or a Nora, but not all at once! They are the residents who have severe memory loss and are roaming around ready to help at a moment's notice. They are the people who are blissfully content and absolutely adorable.
Ron, a former search and rescue pilot, stands around the nursing station with his fingers sneaking under the glass grabbing at pencils, paper and binders. Sometimes, he gets the gate open and sneaks in to do some paper shuffling and filing. Occasionally, he just follows behind the employees and gets into the office with them and tries to pick up the telephone when it rings.
Terry, obviously a former organizer of some sort, I suspect perhaps a travel agent before retirement, is organizing tours to get out of the locked facility. "Come on ", she urges the other inmates, "you have to get through security, the plane will be leaving soon". Other times she has people convinced they are going on a bus tour or a cruise ship. "You must line up here folks, the bus will be coming soon." or "I think if you come with me, you will be very pleased with the room"
Verna, was originally in the emergency ward with my father, and is cute, huggable, and oh so crafty in her attempts to escape. She required a security guard to ensure she didn't break out of ER. It was for her own good, she would have got lost wearing nothing but hospital issued p.j.s. That would have been a real tragedy.
A few months later, Verna just happened to be discharged from hospital and was admitted into the same facility as my dad, and like him, seems to be more settled now. She is no longer in the hospital gown but is wearing a pant suit and carrying a purse. She is easily mistaken for a visitor and not a resident. This has led to people using the code on the key pad and letting her out because she insists she has to catch a bus. Fortunately this security breach was caught shortly afterwards and Verna was chased by frantic staff who got her back into safety before she did get on a bus!
My husband had been forewarned by me about Verna so he was prepared when he met her. What he wasn't expecting though was her willingness to rent the facility to him. She walked him around the seniors residence explaining that she owned it and that she could rent the dining hall to him and if needed she could shut or open areas for smaller or larger gatherings!
Although Verna is delusional about the part she plays at the home, the staff let her continue to be "in charge" and she maintains her cheerful optimism, her willingness to assist, and her incredible gift of music. She plays beautifully on the care home piano and entertains many of the staff members and visitors on a daily basis.
And last but not least, let me tell you about Nora, a lady of about 70, with dementia. She's really robust and ready to help anyone at anytime. She is often seen pushing patients in wheelchairs, folding laundry and escorting new visitors to see patients.
Unfortunately, I don't think we can choose how we are going to behave if and when we get dementia. We can only hope that we will be good natured and happy with our situation. It makes things go so much smoother. One of my demented clients stated it quite well, saying, "It's one thing to lose your mind and not know it, but to be losing your mind and know it, is a very sad thing". In her case she had been a doctor of psychiatry and found it troubling and overwhelming and she wallowed in despair.
One of my favorite prayers that I recite daily affirms to the Creator that "I will be a happy and joyful being". I hope I remember those words when I get older and perhaps I can add a request that I can be a helpful being under all circumstances.
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