Energy, Enthusiasm, and Enlightenment, at Age 90!

Meet Alex. I am using his real name because he deserves recognition. Sometimes I use fake names to protect the innocent.  He's actually 91 and  an example for all of us. I met him for lunch to see what makes him tick and here's his story:

He began with these words "I have had an incredible life. I have gone from being very sensitive about what people thought of me to learning to be confident, and realizing that I wanted to make a difference in the lives of other people."

He was born in December of 1920 and says he had wonderful parents. He didn't get much in the way of a formal education but he sure went far in life. There are a number of things that he says benefited him greatly with elocution lessons being high on the list. Learning to speak clearly and confidently  really gave him poise in any setting. As well, joining the drama club at school and acting in theatre productions after school increased his courage and really taught him how to read and  memorize.

As well, joining the YMCA in his home town of Winnipeg, Manitoba, was one of the best things he ever did. He's been a life long member and was recently awarded a lifetime membership for his years and years of dedication to a healthy existence.  I learned that on his 90th birthday, the "Y" said to him, "Alex, you don't need to pay anymore, just keep coming".

So he does! He works out three times a week, stretching to keep limber and using the rowing machine for at least 20 minutes each time he goes.  He also uses the elliptical training machine.  He doesn't have time to do much swimming now but he used to and as if that wasn't enough, he told me that at one time had been good at gymnastics and mentioned that for over 30 years he was a jogger!

In his professional life success was his, selling life insurance. In the beginning, "fear of poverty", kept him going but not long into his career, he realized the importance of keeping healthy so he could reap the rewards of living a long time. His friendliness and honesty brought him many clients and working for a good company kept the commissions coming. It appears that he was obviously financially savvy and is now enjoying a good life in retirement.

What else has he done?  He's volunteered. He's given back. Through his church and through service organizations. He was in the Rotary Club for nearly 30 years and he was a member of the United Way.  Something was missing though, if you can believe it! (His words, not mine) and he discovered through prayer and reflection, that it was a deep longing to assist people in a spiritual capacity. Alex's quest to make a difference in people's lives brought him to volunteering in the Spiritual Care Department at our local hospital filling the void that he had felt.  As a result, he has become passionate about Spiritual Care. I met him as a fellow volunteer at least ten years ago. I have always been impressed by him as have others in the hospital. Here's one gem though that I hadn't heard from him until now. "Gail," he said, "I have sat and listened to people who are in real pain, and it's not just physical pain, and through this I have learned to listen and I have listened to learn."Alex then added, "my son told me that's what I needed to do and so I have put it into practice."

My friend Alex hasn't always had an easy life but he acknowledges that without hardship, there is no growth. He always kept his optimism and he's always known that he has to make the most of his life on this earth.  He's been a good provider, a good father and a wonderful husband.  Right now, he has made some choices that haven't been easy. He'll be making a major move to be closer to family. His lovely wife has some health challenges and it means that they will have to move in order to  have some supports in place but he meets this challenge with practicality and wisdom.

I didn't doodle while I listened to Alex, but rather I made some notes on paper about his appearance: -Neatly cropped beard and -he's wearing Tilley (brand of shirt) and I jotted some of his words of wisdom like "Live today, this is the only life you have" and "enjoy every minute".

Always ready to learn something new, Alex bought himself a computer in his 80's and he emails, websurfs, and is a fan of my blog! A lover of books, he enthusiastically recommends his current favorite: "Seeking the Heart of Wisdom: The path of insight and meditation"  by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield.

Alex Ramsay is still learning and eagerly passing on wisdom, exemplifying the body, mind, and spirit of which we are made,  nourishing all those dimensions and inspiring us to live happily to a ripe ol' age.

Old Man In Nursing Home Reacts To Hearing Music From His Era

Happy and Helpful

Every seniors care facility needs a Ron, a Terry, a Verna, or a Nora, but not all at once!  They are the residents who have severe memory loss and are roaming around ready to help at a moment's notice.  They are the people who are blissfully content and absolutely adorable.

Ron, a former search and rescue pilot, stands around the nursing station with his fingers sneaking under the glass grabbing at  pencils, paper and binders.  Sometimes, he gets the gate open and sneaks in to do some paper shuffling and filing.  Occasionally, he just follows behind the employees and gets into the office with them and tries to pick up the telephone when it rings.

Terry, obviously a former organizer of some sort, I suspect perhaps a travel agent before retirement, is organizing tours to get out of the locked facility.  "Come on ", she urges the other inmates, "you have to get through security, the plane will be leaving soon".  Other times she has people convinced they are going on a bus tour or a cruise ship. "You must line up here folks, the bus will be coming soon." or "I think if you come with me, you will be very pleased with the room"

Verna, was originally in the emergency ward with my father, and is cute, huggable, and  oh so crafty in her attempts to escape.  She required a security guard to ensure she didn't break out of ER. It was for her own good, she would have got lost wearing nothing but hospital issued p.j.s. That would have been a real tragedy.

A few months later, Verna just happened to be discharged from hospital and was admitted into the same facility as my dad, and like him, seems to be more settled now.  She is no longer in the hospital gown but is wearing a pant suit and carrying a purse. She is easily mistaken for a visitor and not a resident. This has led to people using the code on the key pad and letting her out because she insists she has to catch a bus. Fortunately this security breach was caught shortly afterwards and Verna was chased by frantic staff who got her back into safety before she did get on a bus!

My husband had been forewarned by me about Verna so he was prepared when he met her. What he wasn't expecting though was her willingness to rent the facility to him. She walked him around the seniors residence explaining that she owned it and that she could rent the dining hall to him and if needed she could shut or open areas for smaller or larger gatherings!

Although Verna is delusional about the part she plays at the home, the staff let her continue to be "in charge" and she maintains her cheerful optimism, her willingness to assist, and her incredible gift of music. She  plays beautifully on the care home piano and entertains many of the staff members and visitors on a daily basis.

And last but not least, let me tell you about Nora, a lady of about 70, with dementia. She's really robust and ready to help anyone at anytime.  She is often seen pushing patients in wheelchairs, folding laundry and escorting new visitors to see patients.

Unfortunately, I don't think we can choose how we are going to behave if and when we get dementia. We can only hope that we will be good natured and happy with our situation.  It makes things go so much smoother. One of my demented clients stated it quite well, saying, "It's one thing to lose your mind and not know it, but to be losing your mind and know it, is a very sad thing". In her case she had been a doctor of psychiatry and found it troubling and overwhelming and she wallowed in despair.

One of my favorite prayers that I recite daily affirms to the Creator that "I will be a happy and joyful being". I  hope I remember those words when I get older and perhaps I can add a request that I can be a helpful being under all circumstances.