People with dementia can be soothed by music, uplifted by music, and also agitated by music. When selecting something for your loved one to listen to, make sure you take into account the kind of music they listened to when they were younger. Putting on a Country Music CD wouldn't be that satisfying for someone who never liked that genre. Loud marching band music or Rock n Roll playing from the speakers may have been okay for short periods of their earlier life, but remember most of them are living in the long ago past. Perhaps in their mind they are a child again or a teenager or a newlywed.
Good ol' songs from post-wartime years, can bring a smile to the face and have lyrics flowing from the lips in no time. Jazzy tunes can get the toes tapping and the hands drumming. The old guys will tell you "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got swing!" Songs repeated at each visit may get annoying and stale for you but not for them. They've forgotten they listened to it yesterday and it's all new today.
Be careful not to have the radio blasting when you take them out for a car ride. Go through your local drive-thru and get a cup of something hot to drink, leave it in the cup holder until you get to a nice park or lookout and then find a station that plays something suitable, remembering to turn it down when the advertisements come on. If the person you are with is getting restless and in a surly mood, try a different station, or just try silence for a while. Sipping your beverage and going down memory lane with music is a wonderful way to spend some quality time.
If you're normally a shower singer and reticent to sing around someone else, I encourage you to get over that fear and sing some campfire songs with them or something you remember them listening to when you were a child. Even if you only know the first few words to the song, I promise you they will most likely finish the line and continue on with the chorus.
Many extended care facilities have Music Therapists who can visit residents and for a small fee will come and visit on a weekly basis. They are trained to know what era of music the residents (given their age) will have listened to. Quietly the music therapist will strum the guitar and coax their listener to sing along and soon the heart of your senior is sure to be uplifted.
The best thing I ever thought of for a restless lady with Alzheimer's Disease was to put headphones on her to block out the hustle and bustle of the place where she was living. The music I chose for her was fun stuff like "You Are My Sunshine" and "Home, Home on the Range" and she would love to propel herself in her wheelchair up and down the halls singing along. The thing that caused everyone within earshot to grin the most was her belting out "Trailer for sale or rent, rooms to let fifty cents. No phone, no pool, no pets. I ain't got no cigarettes....I'm a man of means by no means, Kiiiiing of the roooooad"! No doubt, that Roger Miller song was definitely her favorite!
Melodies whether they be gospel or sacred, classical, or contemporary, have the ability to cheer the soul and gladden the heart. Let music be a binding part of your time spent in the company of those you cherish.
"Tune in" tip: http://www.kixi.com/(boasts "music as cool now as it was then")
Your blog is getting better and better and it was pretty darned good from the start!
ReplyDeleteThis one is right "on the money". Every senior should have a copy of this to give to their kids for when "that time" comes and they need to be cared for and to everyone with parents, or a parent, who is in, or approaching, "that" stage of living.
ReplyDeleteYour piece triggered my memory of a memorable week when I was visiting my home town (Ottawa) on summer vacation. Mom was in a nursing home with Alzheimer's and I'd agreed to take over visiting her every day...something my sister had been doing for the past few years. She and her husband were taking a much-needed one week break.
On my first day she introduced me to the routine; singing was her way of visiting with Mom in a way that was meaningful for both of them. I was amazed when Mom, who could not even recognize me, sang out her chorus part in the opera, Cavalieria Rusticana from the year she was 18, plus some oldies from the 1920's plus number of hymns she had known by heart.
Next day I was solo with Mom and, not comfortable with singing, I took a box of oil pastels and a sketchbook; I was an art teacher then and getting her to make marks in colour was right up my alley. She complied like a little girl when I told her we were going to do some "drawing". Much to my delight, with a bit of coaching the mark-making process held her attention for a full 45 minutes.
Beginning tentatively, she would sometimes ask,"Is that good?" and I would re-assure her she was doing fine. Each day we did this and each day, to my wonder, her strokes got stronger, longer and more confident...by the end of the week they were sweeping and flowing all over the page.
I have no art therapy training but I felt that that my effort to communicate with and relate to my mother in a meaningful way during our visits had been a great success.
Thanks Gail; keep up the good work.
Bill S.
Thanks Bill! I love the wonderful story you have told about your mother. Thanks for sharing it in the comments section. You touched her soul with your gift of art!
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